Help! My kitten is biting me!

Play invitation

Both puppies and kittens are used to playing and roughhousing with littermates before they go home. Biting, pouncing, and grabbing is how they engage. When they first become mobile enough to really get into it, you will initially hear a few meows and yelps. That is one telling another, “Hey bro, that hurt!” They learn pretty fast and correct; those protestations go away in a few days or less.

It is important to understand that every new puppy or kitten that comes into a home must be trained how to adjust play biting when playing with people. They need to learn how hard is too hard.

Note, the last thing you want to do is teach them they are not allowed to bite at all. The reason is that they use their mouths to play and communicate. If a furbaby finds itself very scared, as in “for its life,” or in pain at the hands of an inexperienced child or unfamiliar person, the pup or kitten needs to know how to express their pain or fear appropriately. They need to be able to say “put me down” without drawing blood. If they do not know how hard is too hard, someone, most likely a child, is apt to get hurt, and you do not want that.

What not to do

Please do not use squirt bottles or a reprimanding tone in attempting to train. The kitten is doing what comes naturally and will not respond well to your disapproval. The early days of being with your new kitten is a time for bonding and establishing trust; doing something unpleasant when the kitten thinks it is doing what it ought to do will not go well. Negativity will confuse the kitten, undermine trust, and create anxiety, which comes with a whole host of other problems you do not want.

Also, be careful that no one is inadvertently encouraging biting by the way they play with the kitten. Cornell University School of Veterinary Medicine warns about “play aggression” that results from inappropriate play. One should never use their hands to play directly with a kitten or cat. Always hold a toy in your hand. Do not use a heavy glove with dangling toys either. Biting a gloved hand is fostering rough play.

Last, many people roughhouse with a kitten the way they would with a puppy: rolling them over or around, pushing or sliding them away, and encouraging them to pounce back for more. It seems fun but is really teaching the cat that you like rough play. So make sure neither of those things is happening.

Attention seeking and overstimulation

It is true that cats and kittens may give you random “love bites” looking for attention, or bite when you are petting them, which is from overstimulation. Again the cat is communicating with its mouth. Ragdolls rarely object to too much petting, but regardless, the kitten must learn what is ok and what is not when trying to get your attention.

The fix

This is actually a technique a dog trainer taught me for puppies that I have been using for a couple of decades. It works quite well for kittens too and is quick and easy when done correctly.

You just have to speak cat. 😉

Kittens teach each other how hard is too hard with a loud MEOW when learning to play. That is what you have to do.

Do only that. Freeze and meow as authentically and loudly as you can; your objective is to stop them in their tracks. Done right, the kitten will also freeze and look at you like you speak cat.

After a short pause, typically the kitten will slowly go back to what it was doing and bite again, but less hard this time. It is as if they are testing their theory.

If it is still too hard, meow again.

Usually it only takes three times.

Freezing is important. Be careful not to push him away, jump back, whip your hand or foot away, or make a surprised human sound that might resemble a squeaky toy, because that can look like you want to accept his play invitation. And do not yell with an angry tone.